SORRY!

I forgot all about my blog!! Life has just been so busy. School, exams, random life changing events. You know how it is. Things have been really hectic for me lately, so I'm trying to get myself back on track.

I've been quite confused as well. Last night I had an odd feeling hit me and it bothered me all night. My throat swelling up didn't help either (fml@allergies/sensitivities) so waking up constantly was a big thing. I'd just lay there thinking and trying to breathe. All day it's been a thought in my head, basically "what if / what do I do / should I give up / what happens if I give up / what if I give up and regret it ?!"  For those that know me personally, fb/nex/text me and I'll give you the details because I really need advice.

I normally go to my parents for advice since they are so good at giving it, no matter the question, but I don't think they could help me with this. What I need is something they don't know anything about. Well, I imagine they do, but they haven't experienced it. I know for a fact that they haven't. And if you message me, you'll understand why.

So, I'm just going to sit around tonight... study, think, study, think. I have a Physics final tomorrow so we'll see how things go. I'm hoping that this doesn't bother me too much.

On the plus side, Thijs is back. I stayed with him last night. We went to Subway this afternoon, I felt like a loser because I had a 6" sub, he had a footlong and he was done before me. Let this be a warning to everyone... I eat very slowly and very little. It's just something I do.




Anyways, I think that's all I can really type. I'm not happy right now. :(
- kayluh

p.s. do you ever randomly feel like crying? I think tonight is going to be one of those nights. Music usually helps me balance out but I don't know... I told Thijs something relating to the second sentence of this post and it's been bothering me heaps. I wanted to just keep it in that empty spot in my mind but I also wanted to tell him in case something were to happen in the future. I don't know what would happen, but opening up to someone is usually a good thing, right? Should I have kept it to myself? I feel so vulnerable now. ugh