To Be With You - The Honeytrees*

Dear -----,

I know we decided, or at least I did, to just be friends... but I still don't think I'm going to feel comfortable initiating conversation with you. I feel like things that I say can be easily taken out of context.

That's all,

- an "old" friend

Can two people with a history ever JUST be friends? It obviously wouldn't be a platonic relationship, but do you think it's possible? I feel like there would always be that thought in the back of one side's mind thinking "Why? How is this going to work? Are we better off not talking to one another?" OR just a straight up "I miss you.".  I'd like your thoughts on this...


I'm currently watching The Real World after sleeping for five hours. I don't know how I managed to sleep that long, but I'm still tired and am thinking of heading to bed as soon as this show is over. I pvr'd it, but hey, why not watch it right now? AND since we got our new cable box I keep forgetting to add the series recordings. We have one for Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and two on Thursday. Yeah, mum and I watch a lot of television. We consider it "mother/daughter bonding time" even though we don't even talk while watching it. We're just that great.

I should get back to my show though. Head to bed shortly after.

Good Night
-kayluh

*disclaimer* The title of this post has nothing to do with it's contents, it's a song I'm listening to and I absolutely adore the singer's voice. 4srs go listen to it. I just had no idea what to choose as a title.

ooh pretty

So, while browsing forums on the embarrassing site that I have been a part of for years, I came across a photo of a couch. A few people thought it was impractical, or ugly, but I happened to LOVE it! So much that I think I am going to make one for my bedroom. My room is a light blue, curtains are sheer/white, bed set is blue/green/orange. Any suggestions on fabric choices? I was thinking of something light, maybe a small print OR orange to match my bed!? I am only picturing the couch as wide as my window, so about 5 feet long? It'd be long enough for me to lounge on, but not completely lay on. Aaahh I just want to build it right now!! The best thing is that I know how to build it! I'm so handy!!

This is the couch.

This is my bed set

And of course, the photos aren't mine... oopsie. 
If you have any suggestions or questions just leave a comment or msg/txt if you know me irl.

ALSOOOO I made a skirt today. My plan was to make two skirts, but as usual, Kayluh has been stressed out. I will post pictures another day... maybe tomorrow if I wear it?!

cheers
-kayluh

p.s. I think I'm giving up with the 30 day thing. I may continue it at a later date.

SORRY!

I forgot all about my blog!! Life has just been so busy. School, exams, random life changing events. You know how it is. Things have been really hectic for me lately, so I'm trying to get myself back on track.

I've been quite confused as well. Last night I had an odd feeling hit me and it bothered me all night. My throat swelling up didn't help either (fml@allergies/sensitivities) so waking up constantly was a big thing. I'd just lay there thinking and trying to breathe. All day it's been a thought in my head, basically "what if / what do I do / should I give up / what happens if I give up / what if I give up and regret it ?!"  For those that know me personally, fb/nex/text me and I'll give you the details because I really need advice.

I normally go to my parents for advice since they are so good at giving it, no matter the question, but I don't think they could help me with this. What I need is something they don't know anything about. Well, I imagine they do, but they haven't experienced it. I know for a fact that they haven't. And if you message me, you'll understand why.

So, I'm just going to sit around tonight... study, think, study, think. I have a Physics final tomorrow so we'll see how things go. I'm hoping that this doesn't bother me too much.

On the plus side, Thijs is back. I stayed with him last night. We went to Subway this afternoon, I felt like a loser because I had a 6" sub, he had a footlong and he was done before me. Let this be a warning to everyone... I eat very slowly and very little. It's just something I do.




Anyways, I think that's all I can really type. I'm not happy right now. :(
- kayluh

p.s. do you ever randomly feel like crying? I think tonight is going to be one of those nights. Music usually helps me balance out but I don't know... I told Thijs something relating to the second sentence of this post and it's been bothering me heaps. I wanted to just keep it in that empty spot in my mind but I also wanted to tell him in case something were to happen in the future. I don't know what would happen, but opening up to someone is usually a good thing, right? Should I have kept it to myself? I feel so vulnerable now. ugh

WEDNESDAY IS UPON US!

It is now technically Wednesday... well 41 minutes ago it was. I have had such an odd day. Here it is in very bad point form... I woke up at 7:20, took my rollers out, changed and chilled with my mum until we left for school/work just after 8am. She dropped me off near my dad's office, I walk half way through the college to my locker to grab my binder for science. THEN I walk ALL the way across the college to my classroom. Class starts at 8:30 and I was just getting to the door at 8:25. And guess what I see?! "SC--- has been moved to A204" so then I had to walk all the way back and ended up being late for class, but I was still the second person to show up. Weird, aye?  The bad thing is that I could have easily cut some time by walking out of the science wing, walking across the pad and into A. Oh well!! 

Class was pretty uneventful, just went over the regular ecology stuff, and I realized how gross humans were as a species. yuck! Anyways, I was sitting by Debra, and we just kept whispering back and forth. OH! SHE CHOPPED HER HAIR OFF!! I was shocked! But it looks so good!! 
ANYWAAAAYS... class ended at 9:50, so her and I just went out to the tables in the hallway, chatted for a few hours (I was laughing sooo much, partly because of the text convo I was having with my e-crush) until Maths around noon. Another long class, sounds lame, right? WRONG! It was hilarious for me. I could not stop laughing and I didn't even have a reason to laugh! Time flew by, soon it was 1 and time for Debra to leave, and leave me all alone to endure English. (ugh) So, I walked her to her vehicle, we ended up talking for awhile, she asks "When does your next class start?" I grab my phone, look at it and say "haha! 20 minutes ago!" and our goodbye still took a few minutes!!!
English was horrible. Nobody WANTS to watch a horrible adaptation of The Taming Of The Shrew! I was fine with the audio last semester, but what is the point of spending $30 on a book that we aren't even going to read?! (yes, I am repeating a course /sadface) I was only in class for half an hour. whoops. So, when that was done I went to my dad's office, we hung out for a bit, then I remembered that I needed my 2202A form to do my taxes. (I was supposed to get this over a month ago!) Apparently they messed up my file and put it in the "outstanding balance" files. Ugh.

THEN, I hung out with my dad a bit longer, left, went to pick up a starter, then home. I was sooo happy to get home! (for reasons I cannot post about) The friend I was texting the entire day pretty much made my day multiple times...

Anddddd my day has been fairly repetitive since then. I've had great things and not so great things happen today. But I'm bad at explaining things (as you can read^) so that will be saved for another day... It's time for my DAY NINE post!!!


cheers
-kayluh

p.s. I just made a lip plumping gloss and hoooly smokes, my lips are HUGE! I don't know if I like it. I'm so used to my little lips! I may post a photo in the morning. AND I may or may not sleep in... /shiftyeyes

DAY 8: A PICTURE OF YOU AND SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU SMILE

So, I kind of planned this one on Day 2... but I didn't plan on what to write, so I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind, that IS the point of a blog, right?

This is Thijs and I... on skype, because we do not have any pictures of us together. That will be fixed when he's on day off. *winkwink*

 Maybe not the greatest photo, but it works! He makes me smile ALL of the time. So much that my cheeks end up hurting. I think he may rival my mum who actually makes me smile by saying "smile". He's a weird guy, but totally awesome nonetheless.

And a small story...
I was babysitting two little kids, Madison and Coby. Coby is pretty neat, but he's at that question stage...
Coby: Kayluh, why are you babysitting us but only sitting on the couch? can you pleeeaaase come watch me play my wii?
Me: I'm babysitting you guys and am sitting on the couch because I'm tired.
Coby (sees me texting): Who are you texting?
Me: Thijs
Coby: Are you guys married yet? You've been dating him forever! If you haven't been married yet can I be your ring boy? Madison can be the flower girl, right?
Me: No, Coby, we're not married.
Coby: Why not?! (starts tearing up)
Me: I'm too young to be married! That's for the big adults, not 19 year olds
Coby: But you ARE a big adult! You're tall and pretty and you have nice hair and a nice smile. GET MARRIED!! PLEEEEAAASSSEEEEE

DAY 7: A PICTURE OF YOUR MOST TREASURED ITEM

Any guesses on what the body looks like?

This picture wasn't entirely on purpose. I was messing around with my phone to see how close I could get while still being in focus. And this was half the width of my phone, since I had it resting on the 12th. AAANNDD I was too lazy to take a new picture, because that means cleaning it, making it shiny and trimming the excess string on top.

It does not have a name. I do not name my things, and never will. ugh. drives me nuts when people do that!

DAY 6: A PICTURE OF SOMEONE YOU'D LOVE TO TRADE PLACES WITH FOR THE DAY

I honestly don't know who I'd trade places with...

I'm fine with being me. So I'm cheating and won't be posting a picture.

DAY 5: A PICTURE OF YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY

So, my favorite memory doesn't have a photo to go along with it, so I'm posting my favorite recent memory.

In December, my grumps was in the hospital here, and the entire family was there, we were all tired. Tired of being sad, tired of crying. So, I was sitting there on one of those stools. You know those little black ones? And I kind of drifted off, started thinking of Pokemon and thought of Jigglypuff and then I imagined her in my mind saying "jiggly" in her cute little voice and started laughing. My brother looked at me with a "what the heck?" expression because we were in a hospital, visiting my dying grandfather. Anyways, I whispered to him what I was thinking and we started giggling. And I remembered that there was a dry erase board behind me, so I got up and drew this. Then my dad started laughing at me because he knew exactly who I was drawing. THEN my brother whipped out his phone and looked at her on his Pokedex app. As soon as we saw what she really looked like we burst out laughing, then started handing the phone around showing people. Everyone laughed! Even my grumps!! So, that's my favorite recent memory. I miss my grumps heaps and am glad that he got to laugh a bit in the days before his death.

So. I hope you guys can enjoy my memory and laugh a little because I sure did while writing this.

Oh by the way, I have a weird laugh. I shake when I laugh... that's another thing!! haha!
Good memory: At my grumps funeral, the priest (at least I think he was a priest) was quite loud, and my cousin, Nathan, asked "why is that guy yelling?" and only the few people around could hear, and my uncle Kevin just burst out laughing, and he was trying to contain his laugh. (some people thought it was rude that he was laughing at his father's funeral) and I noticed he was shaking when he laughed. I turned to my mum and whispered "I think I know what side of the family my laugh came from..." and we kind of chuckled quietly.

A lot of the things that I find funny are "you had to be there" moments. I am HORRIBLE at explaining things. I can't even tell a joke! My dad says that the first two lines of "I Started A Joke" by The BeeGees described me... "I started a joke, which started the whole world crying."

Thanks, Dad. ily2


cheers!
- kayluh

DAY 4: A PICTURE OF YOUR NIGHT

I should have done this yesterday! oops!! I've been a bit busy.

hmm. my night consisted of good food (that I made, of course) and random things with Thomas. Then he passed out, and I started doing some old physics homework... so I'll post that since I actually took a screen shot last night.

 

And I'm not sure if you can do a click-thru to make it larger, but if you can, go right ahead and check out how simple it was. The only hard part was going back and forth to insert symbols and making the equations. I LOOOVE science and maths. 

also Thijs text me the other day. "I wish my name was Mat. H :P" and I replied "Don't, because I love math, and I don't think you'd want me to love you so soon :P" HAHA! He's not very smart when he is tired. 

Anyways, that was my night last night. Very interesting... and boring.

SO, THERE'S THIS PIRATE...

named Davis, whom I absolutely adore. (his blog can be found here)

I've "known" him for roughly a year, I can't say exactly how long because we just posted in the same forum(s) for awhile... and he has some pretty neato tattoos. He thinks I'm cute too! (ego boost!) I'm not entirely sure what to write about him... but I just know that if I'm ever in his city, we're going to drink some bundas. Real pirates drink real rum. But, sadly, they do not have the nice hair that we do, but I'm sure a few drinks can fix that.

This is Davis, look at those sideburns! rawr! (I let him choose the photo, because I'm nice.)

It is Kayluh's "bedtime" though, she needs to write her TwM assignment and an essay outline that is permanently etched in her mind from months ago. (yay for working on a research paper months in advance!) And I will be writing my final next Wednesday, and a lab sometime this week... YAY ME! (seriously, I'm excited!)

cheers
-kayluh

"HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD THIS BEFORE?!"

Have you ever found a song that's been around for years and are quite surprised at it?! Yeah, that happened to me about ten minutes ago. I found this Avril Lavigne song... I'm guessing it's from before she was signed and before "Sk8er Boi" happened. When she was originally going to go into the country genre.

I don't know about you guys, but I really really like this song! Haha! It's going to be in my head all day! You see, I'm normally not a big country fan. I don't mind me some Taylor Swift/Dixie Chicks/etc. but I can't stand the general "honky tonk" country that so many people seem to love.


Anyways, it's Tuesday morning. I feel like I haven't slept at all, maybe because I haven't slept that much, but we'll keep that between us. shh! I'm off to ask my Sci. Prof what can happen since I missed a very important exam, spend an hour and a half walking the hallways, going to Maths (I LOVE MATHS), another long break and English. Ugh. I normally don't mind English classes, but I have problems with my prof. She is the type that teaches by the book (and actually from the book). So no matter how hard I try, I feel like I cannot learn! I need to actually do things to learn, I cannot sit in a desk for an hour and a half listening to an audio book!!

/end rant about school
/start cutesy rant

I woke up to a text from Thijs, "I read it in your blog lol :S weirdd! :P"
I replied, "you're nuts!"
and the reply that made my day, "nuh uh!! :("

Haha! I haven't heard that reply in ages! Not even from the kids I babysit! So, to the few followers I have already, guess which day will be his! We're having a little Skype date later, perfect time for a screen shot, aye? That's my hint for you. GUESS AWAY!


cheers
- kayluh

DAY 3: A PICTURE OF THE CAST OF YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW

It's technically Tuesday, I can post this now, right?

I'm posting my CURRENT favorite because my all time favorite is a cartoon that no longer runs. whoops!

HOUSE
apparently it's impossible to find a current photo... so let's pretend that Amber Tamblyn is in Olivia Wilde's place.

I don't know about you guys, but I've been disappointed in this season. ugh. Tonight's episode kind of brought back the normal "House" feeling, but I think it may have lost it's spark.




also: anyone else want a bed that big?! yeah, I know, it's not real, but wouldn't that be kind of awesome?! knowing me, I'd end up staying in a 5' x 3' area. Okay, maybe 6' because I'm 5'4" and don't always sleep in the fetal position... just ask anyone who has shared a bed with me! Apparently I am a blanket hog and flail heaps. Haha!


cheers/goodnight
- kayluh

DAY 2: A PICTURE OF YOU AND THE PERSON YOU HAVE BEEN CLOSEST WITH THE LONGEST

This is Thomas. My 14yo cousin. I feel horrible because this is the only picture I could find of us together! It's 3 years old. He's not very photogenic (sorry Thomas! luckily he knows this) so he isn't big on pictures.

I could say something cheesy like "we go way back" but I won't, because that's fairly obvious. Thomas is just the best. We have never been mad at each other. I always love spending time with him. Sometimes I wish he would just move in with us so he wouldn't have to walk the 4 blocks to my house. OH THE HORROR!

Seriously though, he always makes my day. I think what makes our relationship even better is our age difference. Like, really, how many 14 year old boys can sit at a table full of adults and hold a conversation/joke around?! I just love that him and I can talk about anything and there's no judgment at all. If I could go back in time and record how random our conversations were, I would, and then I'd post and laugh. He's just my favorite!! We've been talking about getting shirts with "BCF" (best cousins forever) on them for years and never have... maybe we can do that this summer, aye?

I'll leave it like this, because if I keep writing I may end up writing something embarrassing and if he reads it I won't get my Thomas visit this week. :P

DO YOU EVER JUST GET SICK OF...

the internet?


I don't know if it's just me, but tonight just really bothers me. I feel like I need to delete my internet life one of these days. I really don't know what I'd do without all of this though, I have friends everywhere! Mind you, most of them are e-friends, but I've "known" some of them for years! It would be weird to not have them anymore... And then I also need it for school, work, etc. Do you think you could ever stop using the internet? Not weaning yourself off, just done. cold turkey.

That's another thing I hate. Where do people some up with these terms? Is cold turkey supposed to be a bad thing? Because I happen to like cold turkey!

I'm just having a very random day. Things started out greatly, then there was the regular drama that happens in my day to day life and now I'm just in a weird not quite mad, but not quite happy mood.

/twiddle thumbs for ~10 minutes
/insert happy dance

also, this JUST made me happy!! my hair is finally long enough to put in a ponytail!!! I kind of regret cutting it, but I had to. Things wouldn't have worked with my previous cut... Imagine shaving half of your head, then growing it out for about four months... it was THAT bad. ugh.

Anyways, I better get to bed. I have class at 8:30.

cheers
- kayluh

DAY 1: A PICTURE OF YOURSELF WITH 15 FACTS

1: This is the best picture I could find that is straight up "Kayluh"

2: I'm single. (and not ready to mingle)

3: I'm actually dating* somebody for the first time in my life! 

4: I wasn't a sheltered child, just a shy teenager.

5: I own 3 birds, 5 eggs, 2 beardies, 1 dog and 12 fish. 

6: My pets are my "children" and always will be because I don't want kids... is that weird? I've never ever ever wanted kids!

7: I only have one sibling. He is 1y11m10d older than me. And we have a love/hate relationship. Right now, we're hating to love each other. 

8: I actually don't mind living where I live, but it's not a place I'd want to live forever. Sure the winters are really long and cold, but isn't all of Canada hating on winter? 

9: At this age, I started hating the entire month of December.

10: I am having a hard time thinking of "facts" that are actually kind of interesting.

11: Oh I know! I've had a nexopia account since I was 12. THAT'S SEVEN YEARS! And I JUST started posting in the forums in 2009. My current post count is ~6000, my old post count was ~4000. Which isn't a lot at all for nex.

12: I only ever have one post on my wall on facebook. I hate the clutter, and the new profiles look horrible with so many posts.

13: My baby bird (he will be one on May 5th) is sleeping on my shoulder and I find it adorable for once!

14: I LOVE music, never ever ask me, "What do you listen to?" because I will answer "A bit of everything... I'm serious, browse my ipod."

15: I am hoping to update the template of this sometime today, but as Thijs said, it's a lazy Sunday. 

cheers

- kayluh

edit: So, I left this for awhile, and then I realized that a few of these weren't very good facts, so I'm adding this little portion...
I like to sew. I have made quite a few things for myself, I also knit/crochet. I play a few instruments and sing and I kind of wish that I had a family band. I LOVE my dad's voice. everyone does! and when we are together it's just amazing. I love me some Harry Potter and LOTR. I still hide on my parents... usually under the table, in the pantry or behind Radley's viv. That's better, right?


* as in not bf/gf dating, just dating. for now! dun dun duuunnn

Okay, I lied. Sorry.

It's Sunday. I'm home alone and I had to think of something that worked for me, and I only have one class on Wednesdays, meaning I have almost all day to procrastinate as much as I want. I normally save it for the weekends, but hey! A chance to be lazy in the middle of the week?! Count. Me. In!

 I guess I'll introduce myself... I am Kayluh/Kare. I am quite odd, really, ask anyone who knows me and they will reply with "yeah... I'm not sure how to describe her, she's so weird, but it's a good weird" (that actually happened). I live in Northern Alberta, Canada. I'm legit Canadian as well seeing as my ancestors were from this land (unless ya go waaaay back, then according to my old manager, I am Asian/Russian). 

I'll save the rest for this baby... which I am "stealing" from my friend Andraea, whose blog can be read here.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 08 - A picture of you and someone who makes you smile

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most screwed up things with

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss